The Mastery of Chopsticks

As someone raised on forks, the mysterious concept of chopsticks has always been intriguing to me.

筷子, as they are called in Chinese, are really remarkable when you think about it. Existing since approximately 1766 BCE, these pieces of bamboo (or wood, or plastic) are considered to be an extension of the hand while eating-- something  many people like myself may feel to be an impossible feat-- something we scoff at, while folding our hands carefully away in our laps.

To the fork and spoon lover, chopsticks may seem to require such concentrated dexterity and coordination that the multitasking required in wielding these utensils is just simply out of the question. Forget eating, it's all about keeping both in your hand at once. Or politely inquiring as to the location of silverware.

I've been eating Chinese food for years-- it's awesome. But there's always been a bit of a struggle in the department of the transferrance of food from plate to mouth. Dropping a chopstick, letting a noodle slide-- having it all end up in your lap-- been there, done that.

So imagine my joy in finally getting it right. After years of seasoned practice and valiant effort, I have now mastered the art of chopsticks.

Believe me?

The proof lies in one bowl of salad.

After swinging my head around in search of a fork after its delicious delivery upon my table yesterday, I realized that there were no forks to be found in the entire restaurant. It was just me, my chopsticks, and a bowl of slippery, dressing-covered salad.

This was it.

There was only a moment of hesitation before I picked up the utensils, undaunted and determined to succeed. My friends at my table had both seen me falter and fail before, so I wasn't about to let it happen again-- not in the middle of a restaurant.

I braced myself, and plunged in.

One successful grasp of leaf after another, I was amazing. Never have I been more proud in my life-- I proclaimed through a mouthful of salad my supreme awesomeness to my friends-- and very well the entire restaurant. Everyone knew of my newfound talent, and I was happy to have them know.

Chopsticks, really, are just so much more entertaining than standard forks and knives. It's been a rough battle, but I've come out on top-- they may not yet be an extension of my hands (a la Wolverine), but I feel that I may be close.

Victory is near, my fork-loving friends.